Changing the narratives we live by:

I think I had a relatively happy childhood, until life took a drastic change and a few major losses happened. Suddenly I was left alone to make sense of all that was breaking around me, namely all sense of safety, love, and stability. Unfortunately, the main narrative that my subconscious came up with was that all the external changes are somehow my fault. I had no control over my family falling apart, going through loss, grievance, death of my brother at the age of 20, and witnessing my parents disappear in their own world of despair and apathy. The only thing I had control over was to create a story that would make sense in my young, helpless mind. Somehow, I decided that I must be bad and should be blamed. The hurt and anger of becoming invisible, of witnessing everything around me fall apart turned into shame and self-blame. The story of being at fault, unworthy, defective, small, unimportant, insignificant, became the ruling narrative in my psyche and the backbone of many of my major life decisions later in life.

In college I fell in love with the Humanistic School of Psychology and its concept of human potential. Something deeply intuitive kept attracting me to the concept of our higher potential, our possibilities and as Abraham Maslow put it, Our Actualized Self.

Throughout the years, frustrated by the limitations of my own narratives that kept my heart, soul, body, dreams and potential hostage, I became interested in finding a way out. I realized how we all may be prisoners of old, outdated, unreal narratives that determine what we think is possible for us, what we believe we deserve or not, and what dreams we are allowed to pursue or abandon, based on the narratives we have conditioned ourselves to adopt.

From an internal dialogue suggesting that I should remain small, silent, and significant to a vibrant love affair with the concept of the actualized higher potential, I decided the only way out is to actively, persistently, and patiently step on the path of narrative change. I believe that our identity is a container of all the narratives we live by. Changing narratives means strategically changing certain aspects of our identity that no longer serve our potential or ‘Future-Self’.

 When we talk about changing aspects we identify with, we are inevitably faced with anxiety, doubt, resistance, escapism, and whatever defense mechanism we may use when our subconscious feels threatened. In dealing with these uncomfortable internal responses to narrative and identity change, I decided coaching can be a powerful tool. Changing narratives require radical honesty, courage, full accountability, zero blame, and the support of someone who is willing to see you as fully capable, intelligent, whole, and responsible. Changing our narratives is not easy and we will face internal resistance on the way. Changing narratives means expanding our comfort zones, facing our true selves, accepting our flaws and shortcomings, and willingness to pay the price for the changes we are seeking.

I am fully familiar with the frustration of limiting beliefs and stories that insist I should cling to comfort zones rather than following dreams and aspirations. All my life, I had to fight with the internal voices that suggested That I am not worthy of my ambitions.

I believe many people share the same struggle. They have dreams and aspirations, but somehow the limiting narratives find their way in, preventing them from taking steps towards making their dreams a reality. I believe at this juncture of time, the world needs every single one of us to overcome our limiting narratives, redefine reality, and live with more purpose, joy, and connection.  As a coach, my job is to listen deeply to what you say and what you are not saying. My job is to ask you questions that will direct you to your truth and authenticity. My job is to keep you accountable with compassion and reverence. As a coach, my job is to bring clarity into our conversations by directing your focus on what is important to you. As your coach, I will help to create a space where we can stay vigilant when facing internal resistance and all the excuses that may come up. Changing narratives can be exciting and scary but when you have a coach by your side, you have a better chance of staying on the path until you see the results that you want.